Sunday.....It's Aigh't

Today, I had to go to church for the nth time. I mean it's alright, I'm not saying I hate going to church but I don't particularly like it either. Though, if you are made to go every Sunday for the past 4 years or so, then yeah you kind of get tired of it after I would say the first year. Yet, I feel sorta empty if I don't go to church. I got so used to it, that it bothers me to not go, and sometimes I don't want to go because I went to bed really late. I don't know any more, I guess I just have to roll with it until I move out or something. Today was an okay day, I went to church, and now I'm at home hanging out with my family. Laundry is do today, like every Sunday, since I've been going to church. I mean yeah, I don't have a life on Sundays, but it's okay because tomorrow I have a whole new day to hang out with friends and stuff. I have swimming tomorrow which is kinda of a hindrance in my opinion, but hey people live for that sport, I'm just not one of those people. I'm just waiting for the season to be over, so then I can do another league and not have it be a bother to me. I have to finish what I've started. I think swimming has hurt me more than help me. It's kinda like a parasitism in my opinion. It's when one person is hurt while the other benifits, though in this case no one benifits. I have to be true to my self and go on record as in saying that swimming for highschool has kinda got me on the fringes lately and it makes it hard to have time with friends, and I need to have friend time sometimes to for me to even have some breathing air. I also need free time to write.
P.S Now I'm watching The 52nd Annual Grammy Awards where they are going to give a special tribute in 3-D to M.J, God bless his soul.

Sorry, I slept through the movie....again

Last night I was watching Harry Potter and The Half-Blood Prince and I never got to see the ending of it. My mom said that it was a good ending, but I totally missed it because I fell asleep on the couch trying to watch it. The worst thing is that while I was trying to watch it I kept nodding off into sleep. I was so looking forward to watching it but I am so mad that I fell asleep trying. Then, I end up waking up at 12:30 in the morning asking my mom when did they finished watching the movie. She said that it had finished while I was sleeping on the couch. She said after that, she asked me if I wanted to go to bed and I apparently said that "I want to stay up." but then I fell back asleep. I woke up like I would say 20 minutes later and asked my mom what is she waiting for. I then said according to her that I wanted to go to sleep and then that's when I asked her what is she waiting for. She then proceeded to ask me the same question, mind you that I was still half asleep asking her these questions. I think I told her "I'm waiting for you." and then I went to bed 'cause I was dead tired. Oh well, I guess I have to see that movie another time.

Finally It's Friday

Tonight might be the wrap up to the worst week I've had in history of worst weeks. So I am done with this week and I can't wait to start next week with a clean slate and new chance to mess up and stuff. I am so happy that this week is over because I could not take it anymore. It has been like an annoying Nat that lingers for a while until you swat it with a fly swatter and then it goes away but decides to come back. Yeah, that's what this week has been about. I hope I never have to repeat another week like this one again.I had to take 2 test today and swim, so I feel very tired. One was in scinece, which I hope can bring my grade up. The other one was in Japanese, which was really hard. Then, I finally started my volunteer job at the libary. It's fun there plus it gets me out of study hall for the rest of the year, which makes me very very happy. I hope that my weekend is very eventufl. In all good spirits, I wish everyone the best for their weekends.

Saiyonara,

N.B

Worst Day Ever....I Don't Even Know How I Survived It

First, I'm going to start off by saying that walking in shoes that have a small heel and offer no protection or warmth for your feet are really bad to walk in when it's freezing outside and it's snowing on top of it all. Then, my bus was late to school, I felt embarrassed because I thought I was the only one who was late to class. I find out later, that a lot of buses were late, so that helped with my anxiety. After, that stupid bomb threat was horrible. It was also the worst weather to do that in. So that made CW2 to be really short. I was mad at first about it, but then it ended up being fun. After, I had to go with the swim team to an away meet. The girls lost, but the boys won. My parents were there to watch the meet. When the meet was done, I decided to go home with my mom. We ended up getting lost for about 20 or so minutes. I felt really scared because, we were on roads going through heavy wooded areas. (I knew that my mom made a wrong turn, but I held my peace.) Then, we found our way back home. After I picked up my stuff from school, I had to go to church in which I ended up doing my homework. After about an hour there, my parents decide to go and get pizza for dinner. I hope tomorrow is better than today. I also came up with a quote while I was on the bus on my way to the meet. "I can't cut the binds that connect my past with my future. If I do, then I mess up the present."

Later,

N.B

Nightmare because of stress....Ugh

Today, after I set my alarm for 5:45 so I can wake up from my nap, I had a nightmare. It felt so real, and it scared me so much that I ended up talking about it during swim practice. What happened in the dream was that apparently, my parents could not pay the mortgage any longer on the house and we got evicted. Then, I had to move to an apartment, where my parents were arguing a lot. So I ended up having to move out to find an apartment by myself. After, my alarm went off and I woke up. I swear that my heart rate went up a lot. I don't know what that means but I really don't want to know. So then I decided to reset my alarm to 5:55. I felt so scared but now I feel much better that I was able to talk about it or at least blog about it. Gosh, I have a meet tomorrow for swimming and it is away....so that means that I have to leave class early. Boooo!!!!!

Peace out,

N.B

Quote of the Day

When things suck really really horribly, I always think of what my mom gave to me as advice one day coming home from swim pratice. She said "What's sour today, will be sweet tomorrow." I felt like relating that quote today, because when I was in that group thing that we had to do for CW2, one of the questions was "What's the best advice you have ever recieved?" I thought of this quote, because it is so true in my life right now. Remember how in my last blog I said that I was a chronic stressed person? Well this quote reminds me of my constant stressing and anxiety. I will be honest as to saying that I hate being stressed. Being stressed is horrible, because I swear I feel like I am about to fall asleep any second while I am at school. My brother picks on my so much but he can also be nice at times , that my mom said that "It's like having a sour patch kid for a brother." Side note: I feel like that girl Julie from Julie and Julia every time I blog, although without the cooking part, because I can't cook to save my life.

Dude, what happened to me?

Today, I woke up to Ke$ha's "Tik Tok" as my alarm on my phone. I felt like crud though, because I went to sleep at like 11:30 at night, and then woke up at 4 a.m as usual. My mom decided to take me to the bus stop because it was raining like a monster was crying its head off because its girlfriend broke up with him. So when we get to the bus stop we were waiting for the bus to come so it can come and pick us up at 6:52 in the morning. So when the bus comes, my mom forgot that she had locked the car from the inside and the alarm of the car went off in the dead silence. (Of course I knew this was going to happen, but I said nothing.) So it was pretty horrible,but in a funny way that happend. After my bus gets to school, I have a dumb assembly during my math class, which I was pretty happy about. After the assembly, I got stuck in my math class, being that is my first class of the day. I was so bored until the bell rang for second period, which ofcourse I dread the most because it is health class, a.k.a the class where I basically have no friends in but I atleast know 1 person. In health, I finally was able to recognize that I am a chronic stressed person and I hate being stressed but I don't know how to deal with it. I guess I would just have to learn to live with it. I felt like totally skipping swimming and going home because I was so tired, I felt that if I was going to swim pratice I was going to fall asleep and cause myself to die from accidental drowning. That would be ironic though, seeing as I am a swimmer for the school. I still went, because if I skip one I would have to make it up on Saturday and that just ain't gonna happen. But, while I was there I did come up with a quote. "I glued my heart back together with the monster glue that I call my honesty." Now I am totally chill and ready for tommorow's problems.
Peace Out,
N.B